One Foot in the World

“To Live In the World and Not Of The World”

In the past, this is something that has proved to be a huge struggle for me. It has caused me to falter in my walk with the Lord over and over. If I am being completely transparent here, I must admit that there was a time in my life shortly after my husband passed away, where I was completely aware of the direction I was headed and still choose it.

Why, you might be asking? Well – The answer is one I don’t even like saying out loud, but here it goes. I was selfish. I desired to please “my flesh” more than I did my Jesus. More than I did my family. More then I did those that Loved me and were rooting for me. Honestly, I really want to hit the backspace on this right now. But I won’t.

For many years, I’ve desired a walk with the Lord, but I’ve also desired the things this world has to offer:

• Worldly Music
• Being loved by a man (while this may not in itself be a bad thing, it is when it takes your focus off the Lord. It is when the desire becomes a idle)
• Alcohol/Drugs
• Worldly Entertainment (Garbage In, Garbage Out!)
• Parties (and I don’t mean 1 year old birthday parties!)

¹⁵ Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.¹⁶ For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.¹⁷ And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever. – John 2:15-17

Much of my life, I’ve lived with One foot in the world and One foot in church. This combination always leads to a frustrated and unstable walk.

⁸ A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. – James 1 (Emphasis added)

History has proven that when I’m trying to straddle that line, it never takes very long before the world’s pull lures the other foot over. I’d have bouts of victory, and then fall. What I didn’t know then was that I was never truly walking in victory. I was just sober. I knew Jesus, I loved Him, but not more then I did myself. Chrystal still wanted what Chrystal wanted. Even if it meant compromising her relationship with the Lord or others. Wow – That’s ugly!

Chrystal still wants what Chrystal wants… But thanks to my walk with the Lord, those desires have changed. His desires have now become my desires.

My constant prayer…  That He would continually keep me in a place where I never again forget my desperate need for Him in my Daily life. Oh how difficult, but sweet, the journey has been to get to this place.

⁸ Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me: ⁹ Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say, Who is the Lord? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain. – Proverbs 30

Links:
Read about Chrystal’s life Here